As humans, we are interactors and storytellers … It’s how we live and learn. It’s how we feel connected, seen and heard.

But have we lost the art of intergenerational listening in our busy, screen-driven worlds of instant gratification where our nervous systems are constantly in overdrive? Hunter-gatherers were entertained by tribal storytelling in the evenings as they gathered around a fire at the end of a long day. They would joyfully and collectively listen to the wisdom, words and journeys of the elderly in the tribe, whereas we often get our evening entertainment from Netflix, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and the news.

While listening to a podcast about menopause earlier this week (‘Age better with Liz Earle’ from Food, fasting and your aging brain by Dr Mindi Pelz), I heard a fascinating scientific explanation as to why older people tell (and often repeatedly retell) stories.

Acetylcholine is a crucial neurotransmitter (found in our brains and throughout our bodies) that helps us focus, learn new information and create new memories by strengthening communication between brain cells. It also plays a role in diving into our memory banks and retrieving memories. If the hippocampus in our brains isn’t regularly coated with acetylcholine, these neurons get weaker and less effective. Here’s the kicker: Telling stories coats our hippocampus in acetylcholine, preserving our memory banks and brain function. Little wonder it’s so important to the elderly!

If, like me, you are battling menopausal and subsequent hormonal and neural changes (from my side that means significantly less patience and care), your instinctive reaction to the repeated retelling of stories from elderly parents may be, ‘Oh gosh, I’ve heard this three times already’, ‘I don’t have time for this right now’, ‘I have things to do’ or even as bad as, ‘Aaarg, boring!’

Listening to our elderly, diving into their stories with them and asking them to tell us about the parts of the story we haven’t heard before helps those in their 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s keep their memories sharp and their brains active. It’s time for a perspective shift on my behalf! Let’s try make the story more interesting for both listeners and speakers by actively engaging rather than shutting off or shifting the conversation. This adjustment, I suspect, will coat our own brains with acetylcholine as we implement intergenerational listening and sharing.

I mention intergenerational listening in the title of this blog, specifically because it is not unidirectional. I have adult daughters and instinctively know that I have much to learn from listening to them too. They bring youthful and energetic perspectives that offer shiny new insights and fabulous ideas, but they still have much to learn from listening to their mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandfathers and grandmothers.

Let’s refocus on the gift of shared wisdom by taking the time to really engage and listen to each other … intergenerationally.